sanibeldaydreams

Welcome to my blog. Yeah ... one of those things I thought I'd never do {said rolling my eyes} yet here I am! But I think it'll be the easiest way to keep friends and family informed of my journey. If you're here .... you probably already know that I was diagnosed with breast cancer last Wednesday, May 5, 2010.

I can't say that it was a complete shock, as I knew there was a possibility. But it's one of those things you obviously don't ever wanna hear. God has shown himself already, as I expect he will continue to do. I found a lump in my right breast last fall. I was (and am) uninsured. However, I'd seen a commercial on tv for the Illinois Breast and Cervical Cancer Program. It is a fabulous program set up for women such as me. I was approved and was sent to Kirby hospital in Monticello for a mammogram. It came back as "suspicious" and they requested another. This one made me cry - ow!

The results of that one came in and they referred me to a Dr. Timothy Bailey, at Decatur Memorial Hospital for a biopsy. There were suspicious spots in my left breast, what they thought to be tiny calcifications (probably nothing) but they wanted to be sure. So I went in for this biopsy on April 30th. I was admitted as an out-patient and signed several papers for a biopsy on the left breast. I then went to radiology to have a guide wire inserted, for what I thought would be a needle biopsy. But the radiologist had me into his office to look at the films. He pointed out the suspicious spots - but voiced more concern about the "webbing" he saw in the x-ray of my right breast. I told him about the lump (on the right) and he decided to biopsy that one instead.

This was the first time I'd been under sedation. It was an interesting experience to say the least - but actually went very well! I came home with an inch / inch and a half sized incision (not a needle biopsy) and was told I'd have some results on Monday or Tuesday (this was Friday). On Wednesday while I worked (and of course both babies were awake at the time) the doctor himself called - to say I have breast cancer.

Gulp.

Breathe.

Listen.

Write down what he's saying . . . . .

He told me it is Lobular cancer. This type of cancer will mirror image itself from one breast to the other. So though it's not yet confirmed in my left, it's most likely there. It didn't take him long to say that he'd recommend a double mastectomy. We made arrangements to meet at 9:00 Monday morning (today).

And so my phone calls began. My first was to Britt :) She cried. And of course I cried. I came home to tell Jeremiah after work and Jordan was here with him. I think she cried. And I tried not to look at her .... knowing I'd cry. Jeremiah asked what they would do and I told him. Followed by "but I'll be alright" he nodded and quietly said "I know."

Next came my parents, and then friends. Many, many phone calls and emails and facebook messages. I have never been one for secrets. I wanted to get the word out myself, rather than people hearing through the grapevine and not knowing whether or not they're "supposed" to know. Especially if you're a praying person - I wanted you to know!

I actually think the third call I made was to my amazing friend Sabrina. My first words were "are you ready to be someone else's advocate?" and she said "No!" but I knew she meant yes :) I call Sabrina my read-everything / research / study and investigate friend. That is SO not my style! But God has her in my life for a reason and I knew she could fill this position like nobody else. She told me today, that my call sent her into a two day tailspin of heavy emotions. Though Sabrina's not had it herself, she has been closer to cancer than anyone ever wants to be. But she is smart and kind and caring and wise and thorough. And I knew that I needed her. After the shock wore off, she was calling to suggest some vitamins and supplements that may aid my journey - that's my girl :) and I followed her directions like a good patient.

So obviously we went to see my doctor this morning as a tag-team. Sabrina was armed with her notebook of .... well .... notes! We didn't really find out as much as we'd hoped, because I could not get in until this Thursday for that MRI. But we talked with the doctor about this type of cancer, about a mastectomy on the right side for sure and reconstruction afterwards. We left there knowing that we'd need to be choosing a general surgeon, an oncologist and a plastic surgeon. The nurse out front told us that a couple of those doctors at Decatur Memorial Hospital, are not too keen on taking Medicaid patients. We weren't devastated but left there feeling rather 'Eh' not terribly strong one way or another.

So on my way home I called Jenny Plunk who is (what I call) a big whig at the Carle Cancer Center in Champaign. I had told her of my diagnosis at a ballgame the other night and she'd given me her number in case I needed anything. I was absolutely thrilled to hear her say that they are a not-for-profit organization, and take all medicaid patients! She was more than happy to take me under her wing and get the ball rollin'. They do what's called a Comprehensive Breast Consult where you see everyone you need to in one morning. Nice! As soon as I said "ok" she had me appointments for next Friday, May 21st, with an oncologist, a surgeon, a social worker (for finances) and a radiologist. She met me at our boys baseball game about two hours later and handed me a printout of confirmation times and driving / parking directions. This is service!

So though I didn't feel as if I got a lot of firm information this morning - I definitely feel as if everything is falling into place. And I hope you can see by the "coincidences" or the ironies mentioned above, that God is alive and well and working on my behalf. I have to do some of the legwork but he will lead the way.

Since I got this news less than a week ago, I have been overwhelmed by the amount well-wishes I've received! So many prayers and so much love and support coming my way. It is all greatly appreciated! I think I'm developing carpal tunnel in my fingers, from having typed so many updates already :) But I know people are wondering. I know you care. And that's why I started this blog. Check in whenever you'd like. Leave a message if you want to. I will try to be quick and efficient / keeping it current. If you are here - you're special to me - please know that!

Much love from Stephanie ~