radiation so far ....

Well I've not actually had a treatment yet - that will (finally) happen tomorrow.

Monday I had an appointment for what they call the verification simulation. Where I lay on the table, on a foam mat which they've conformed to my body (as per how it was set up 3 weeks ago) with my right arm over my head, with my elbow resting in a cradle (also specifically made for me - for this precise position). So once I'm situated, the tech's make various measurements and adjustments - both to the table and to me - while telling me at all times to hold completely still.

Laser beams are shooting vertically and horizontally, helping them line things up and eventually they exit the room to begin this imaging process. After about ten minutes.... my fingers start going to sleep. After another ten minutes, my arm is hurting. Another few minutes later, I am wincing and saying "ow, ow, ow!" as I start to cry. It was awful I tell ya!

Funny - people told me radiation would be a piece of cake - chemo's the hard part. HA!

I tell them I can't stand it and I have to move. They say it'll be less than five more minutes and I say nope.... can't do it! So they stop and I finally bring my arm down.

This of course means that the process was incomplete - and they'd have to do it today - ugh! So as they suggested, I took three Advil before I went in this morning. And I was determined to make it this time. Which I did - but it wasn't easy. I did ask for a stress ball to hold onto and I think that helped some. Yet after several minutes, my fingers began going to sleep again, starting with the pinky and working towards my thumb. A few minutes later the tingling turns to pain - yet I continue to lay completely still as instructed. Towards the end of this 40/minute process, I begin complaining again and they tell me we're almost done.

And then finally I hear "ok, you can relax now." Ahhh.... whew!

It was my understanding that once things were set up (once this initial scanning was done) that the radiation treatments would only take about twenty minutes. Umm... no. They were asking me afterwards, if today was better and how I thought I'd hold up doing this for 40/minutes, FIVE days a week for the next SIX weeks. Ha ha ha ha ..... oh you people are so funny!

Umm... not well; that was my answer. Which means I got to talk to a nurse about other pain medication options. Fortunately I remembered that I still have something here at home, that they gave me after having my port removed. It is non-narcotic and I had no side effects from it. So I will be taking that tomorrow and hopefully things may feel a little better. I can also do some stretching exercises which may help my arm to be in that position for so long.

Whatever.
I can do it.
I'll survive.

I told a couple of girlfriends today - it's about time I had something to whine and complain about anyway - this whole process has been too easy for me :-)